back to where everything started

"going back to corner where i first saw you, gonna pack my sleeping bag, i'm not gonna move"

exactly. i was going back to where everything had started. langkawi.

i peeked out of the window of the aircraft. the pilot just announced that we were reaching the place. and then i saw it. the island. the one that i have been longing to see. the one that made my eyes swell at this very moment.

i was finally home.

i have always had this particular habit of closing my eyes when ever i arrived on mahsuri's grounds. to take it all in. before leaving the stairs to the luggage counter.

i was smiling alone.

you know that warm fuzzy feeling, whenever you were around that special moment. either it was a text from that special someone or eating with your friends and laughing together. that feeling that somehow just feels right for the moment.

i was having it now. after a VERY long time.

the view of the college field made my heart skip a beat. the basketball court that used to be my only getaway from the stressful pressure of studies was still there. i could still picture the boys playing in the field. aen dragging her biology or add maths book, while leeya trying to argue with her over some stupid formula.
*sobs.

they were all coming back to me. the wind crashed the surface of my face as leeya and i headed to the field. we were longing to play basketball.

aen was not here, yet.

i simply could not resist the feeling of awkwardness. i was back, yes. but it just felt amiss. as if there was still something wrong. i hushed the feeling away, not trying to ruin the moment.

i ran to the old rock. the rock Pak Syed would have scolded me for sitting all afternoon. the view and open sky was making me cry in the inside. i really did longed for this place. i did not wish to leave.

aen finally arrived and we were all back together. me,aen,leeya. the gedz.

the night was spent crashing teacher zeezah's gorgeous apartment and hitting the girl's dorm.

i finally got to see the beautiful moon.

Back at the exact spot where me and sunshine used to talk. the place i would carry myself to, whenever the world seemed horrid. i missed that place. it was not long till it was light's off and we were standing outside of the gate like maniacs.

"bace doa dari luar" they said.

there were slight moment of silence when we were driving to the beach the next day. we just played with our silly little minds. not knowing what tomorrow had fated for us.

there, as i was playing in the waters all by myself since the others were too tired to tag along, i was looking out to the open sea. trying to commemorate back all the times we have spent in Langkawi.

we made our vows that day. all of us. me,adek,leeya and aen.in front of the white spreaded sea. just the four of us.

shh... no one else should know.

the last drive home was the hardest part. i knew everyone was feeling it. it was obvious that this was the last time i was to see these friends of mine. but still we managed to push away the feeling. again, making total fools of ourselves.

" he kneels to the ground and pulls out a ring". giggles aen.

we faced the next day. the time did finally come. i would not go any more further.

my flight back to kuala lumpur was a dreadful one. i knew i would never come back to my home again. at least not any time soon. what was left of Langkawi was now all lefted out memories.

i close my eyes that night. silently missing langkawi. but i knew everything would be ok now. i'll hold on to the trip as long as i could. but im finally ready to let go of Langkawi. i finally said goodbye.

*i did this post specially for aen and leeya. thank you sayang.